What Can You Do?

I was just in the bath tub, I take baths because it is the best place to think of this stuff, no place compares to the bath tub. I cannot stand taking a bath more than once per day however, and i’ve made it the way that I get clean. Just something about floating in the water causes you to think very clearly, and today in the bath came one of my greatest epiphany, …
So that’s kinda weird sharing with you all that I sit in the bathtub every day, but I want these pages/blog posts to be the real thing, no lies, or only lies when your telling a joke or something. My thought was kinda simple, kinda obvious, but as we go around trying to generate negatives (to get a positive in the end, because they go together, negative and positive) we often think to kill. If I go into a city and kill someone, that person no longer exists, so any actions he may have taken, we are minus those actions, we must try to create negative energy without effecting the total. What is that called, thinking about the total of something, I don’t know.
We have to create negatives without affecting the grand scheme of things. As 2,000 Death Korps Soldiers rush into an enemy, and only 400 survive, that’s 1,600 persons that won’t be rolling. Was their death worth more than the 1,600 roller? I don’t know, I really don’t think so, and this lends to a grander idea: That cities are like the key.
Building a city creates all sorts of negative energy without affecting the grand total. We would not have realized this except that this state i’m in, it allows me to feel almost nothing, I am almost dead, but it doesn’t stop me from operating, I am still here doing the work I would be doing if I could feel stuff.
If you don’t believe that I can’t really feel much of anything, what about this, I can feel almost nothing as far as sex goes, and cannot, or almost cannot climax, that comes very hard to me. So the objective is to create a negative, generally these things are like things that will drag on the total, your erasing someone from existence, that causes all their actions to be erased. This is the type of thing we are up against.
But this is only a fraction of the puzzle, there’s much more, I can feel it. There’s so much more, because if generally speaking building cities was “safe and sound” or a sure bet, then we would want even bigger cities, with even more floors in skyscrapers, apartment buildings packed in there, whatever, interactions what kind of interactions between the citizens would you want to take place, would there be drugs? All of these things must be considered, and so how might War play a part in this picture? Why is it there? What is it’s purpose?
The whole relating avalache of information that can be developed just via the knowledge in this post is so massive, so complicated, I can’t even try to define any of it. It’s all interconnected and related to things, cities having influence over other cities, and so it goes this way, on and on, forever perhaps.
Is there some way to define this stuff? I don’t know, but I think that there is, except, I don’t really know if you guys are doing that, or not. I have no information, and my current assumption is that you didn’t collect all the data I printed, to be put on everybody, there was no collection. That is what i’m thinking. That’s like, 5 years worth of work lost, because the whole time I was producing data I assumed that you guys were collecting it. First I started producing it in 2015, december, around christmas time, Merry Christmas, but I don’t know now that you ever collected any of it, I cannot figure it out, and don’t have anyone to tell me, as you provide almost nothing relating to the worlds outside of this universe. Except for the stories and books and movies and video games, that offer a filtered perspective, I have almost nothing to go on.
I can’t even tell if you’ll build cities more properly now based on this article. Whether you will or you won’t, I can’t tell. So it’s like a schrodinger’s cat situation, the cat is neither alive nor dead, but if we shave the cat, then that will be all the more better, and if we smoke it’s shaved hair, then that will be even better than more better, it’s common sense to shave cats.

With all of this, my job is kind of simple, i’ve got to raise the power. With all the tanks, soldiers, spies, agents, cartels, all of the stuff this world is made up of, if I could just empower the people, then good things would happen. To empower them we’ve got to raise the general level of the power, now that we’ve established that we actually have one, we need only to add to it.
So it is in this spirit of adding something to the power level, we mean to add levels to it, but more than that. Take that something more, and fashion it into something like a power level upgrade, this upgrade houses an upgrade of an infinite amount of levels, and it exists within a Satellite Call, describing trillions upon trillions of levels, this satellite call itself exists within a Infinity Matrix, it is just one of an infinite amount of upgrades to the power. And so I apply this upgrade to the best of my ability, making sure to press down firmly, and I use my lighter to smooth out any creases in the seal.

With the power level presumably raised, we can continue onto something negative. So with all this, something that I might want is almost out of the question, like they don’t even consider it. Lifting the curse of me feeling numb to everything almost doesn’t even exist. I cant get free of it, regardless of how well I do, it’s never enough, and I won’t really ever get where i’m traveling to, it’s just so far away. So many things have to happen for something good to happen, and this void of something good happening ironically causes me to work overtime, trying to solve the puzzle, i’m always donating my brain power to trying to figure it out, in the hope that something good would happen for me. This “good thing” i’m talking about could be one of a few things, but none of them exist, they won’t ever happen.
Now it’s looking like this numb feeling is the new norm, it’s been so long i’ve been completely numb to any sort of drug, or sex, or the feeling you get when you look at the sun rising, any of that stuff I am totally numb to it all. And now i’m starting to learn that this is the way it’s going to be, so I tend to point the finger at the people who have control over it, or the people who make the decision to keep me “numb”. I always point the finger, I don’t know why. Obviously their physically causing me to go numb, but the reason that they’re doing it is just a simple calculation — there’s not enough negative energy being generated, we are deficient on negative energy. So it is in this that there isn’t a possibility of anything good happening, and in fact as I go along it gets even harder, because the spells i’m casting are better and better. It gets harder, not easier, as I blaze a new trail, it’s going to get worse.
I am up against quite a bit, I will admit, but it’s not all bad, I mean I am making progress, but there is no point in this progress, that’s what’s really hard, there’s no point to casting these spells, I do not benefit from them, I receive nothing for it. Right now after all the work i’ve done I make $940 per month, every month, and together with what my mom receives we pay to live in a trailer, and the bills are paid. Then I have about $150 to myself after the bills are paid, but that reminds me, I used to say to them, I just wanna get high, if you can’t pay me, then I just wanna get high. So hearing that, the obvious conclusion is to make that person numb to drugs, and put them into a situation where their only hope is working their way out, and then when they do hit the big scores, make it worse. That’s logical, I mean they need these drugs to cast the magic itself, so why not take them away? It makes sense. I can only cast minimal amounts of spells in the form of not feeling anything, you’ve all seen it, it doesn’t net us any progress.
So if they gave me some high, which is not out of the question, but it’s out of the question to them, if they gave me some high, we probably would have solved the whole thing by now, i’ve been numb for going on 2 years. This started 2 years ago, and while i’ve used alot of drugs in my past, that is irrelevant, sure i’ve already had my fun, but this stuff makes me cast better, and cast more, it’s just natural to try to encourage it, instead they have made me numb to it, and what you get from that are posts like this.

I’ve typed negative themed paragraphs as much as I did positive ones. Hmmm…
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