Must Be!

I was just sitting here, installing the latest round of technology for the Combine Overwatch. I always include them in my work, but I get the feeling that what i’m doing isn’t quite enough. Like, they would tell me that, except, i’m trying so hard, and I just can’t do anymore, I don’t mean that I can’t do any more like ever, I mean I cannot provide higher quality tools, techniques and information. The Combine Overwatch knows this, and they know i’m trying to aid them, because maybe their units/some may be in danger at this time, so they need the best tools and techniques and data that they can get.

I just get the feeling that it’s not enough. I cannot provide any more than the rate at which we are going, I don’t see how we could possibly make this go any faster, maybe with some technique to print something beyond the word infinity, something way beyond infinity. I don’t know the word for something beyond infinity though, so we could print MORE technology, but not of a higher quality, well now that I type this out I am thinking this is something that we could do in the future, like the next time I work at it.

I sit here with my journal on my desk and write these bizarre spells, trying to bring about a victory for the situation that is kind of critical, I mean people are in danger, there is a level of danger to this stuff, despite our efforts to minimize that danger, it does seem as though the danger might have passed us…

…But we don’t know if we’re just in the eye of a hurricane, so we have to work overtime, and they give all the Combine Overwatch soldiers in the other dimension a “stimulant” at 3milligrams, to keep them awake and so they can do their work. You never see a Combine Soldier sleeping, you don’t even see any beds around.

Do they sleep? Are they just always drinking coffee and, will they ever secure the Earth? Will this ever end? It seems like regardless of what I do, it’s not enough.

Like I just installed for the Combine the latest round of technology, it came out like 8 hours ago and already they have it, I always do this for them though. How could something of that quality, yes it costs alot, but at some point the quality level starts to go up so high that you just own everything, everywhere, how is this not enough?

I get the feeling we will look back at this time period as a time when we had a novice-like opinion on whether there is a threat or not, I fear that that is the truth. I will eventually find out but how am I supposed to provide better technology than what i’m doing?

If you listen to “Must Be The Season Of The Witch” you can almost hear “The Combine Overwatch” and it does sound like that, that’s what I was doing, for the combine, it’s so repetitive and just clinically insane, everyone says I have schizophrenia but I think schizophrenia is just a word for being more aware of their surroundings, some people have it, others have something else, some normal reality or something, but the Schizophrenia is what the real view is, I swear, I know that that sounds really crazy, but think on it.

Is my view of reality wrong? It’s not wrong, we know it’s true, so how am I crazy when i’m telling the truth?

We will have to find a way to turn it up, and we have to find it fast, people are suffering I am afraid, we are way past due to find this thing we’ve been looking for, the “Crack!” that brings about better technology, we need a “Crack!” in the action, so as to bring about something that may keep us all safe;)