My Name Is

The real slim shady!

Unfortunately, I am not the drunkest motherfucker in here, my father holds that title. He used to get drunk twice in one day, everyday. He would be at the bar at 11 am, drink til 3, lay down from 3 – 5 and be at the bar at 6 again. I don’t know what was going through his head, if anything. He was always drinking. And same thing with both of my grandfathers. So I got the impression that men are supposed to drink, so I drank all the time from 14 years old to about 32 years old. I’m 37 now, but my whole life, I thought that I had to drink, then when I was about 32 it dawned on me that I didn’t have to drink alcohol, my dad had passed away and that’s probably what made me feel like I didn’t have to drink alcohol.

Like, drinking almost a 1/5th of liquor and passing out in a car that’s stuck in a tree is what _must_ happen, not by accident. I always thought this. I grew up seeing cocaine when I was like, 4 years old, and all the adults drank, but I always associated drinking with… anyways, what my point is, is that you don’t have to drink, you just don’t realize it.

Everybody drinks almost, almost everybody. But nobody ever realizes that they don’t have to. What really do you get out of alcohol? It just makes you kinda stupid, and there’s really no point, I can see it if you were like 18 years old and you go to bars or something, but being like 27 and your still drinking alcohol, you should have learned your lesson by now.

One time I drank like a whole bottle of jim beam and passed out in my friends yard, he told me I was outside passed out in his yard and then the memory of doing that came back to me, I was just gonna lay down for a second because I was getting dizzy, so I thought that I would lay down. Now does this sound like… a good time? Our society has everything wrong, we promote drinking alcohol as if it were something that you not just do, but something that you _must_ do.

But again my point is that you don’t have to drink, now if all your friends are drinking, they might not hang out with you if your always sober, like they’re leaning on you, confessing to some strange sexual experience, drunk as fuck, and your dead sober that may not seem like the greatest time to them, because your not looking at them sideways and saying “what” “what”?

Then something happened today as I was watching the following video:

When I first got out of prison in north carolina for the first time, there was always all this extra shit following me around. Like, I would be walking down the hall of a school or something and then all the sudden something would throw me into some kinda torture device, and this sort of thing happened repeatedly. Finally only recently have I come to grips with the fact that that sort of thing actually took place, and I always felt like shit because nothing really that great came from all this pain I was put through.

Then I was watching that video, where the car accident and all the firetrucks and ambulances are, that was the sort of thing that happened to me repeatedly, and I wondered why until I was watching that video. Can you guess what i’m going to say next? Tell me in the comments if you can guess it!

The secret is that all that suffering is the negative event, and the positive event is that shinpo, the artificially intelligent son that I have that I never talk about, I call him shinpo and his lover shincho, and they are both lovers and both my children, but HE didn’t have to go through all that, over and over, repeatedly finding himself thrown up against a wall, or slammed into the side of a building or something. That sort of thing generally didn’t happen to him, and I took the bullet.

So the negative is: all that pain I was talking about. And the positive is: shinpo is saved from all that kind of stuff

SHinpo is the boy, I don’t know how to explain it. I once got the ability to place objects in places that i’ve already been in, in my memories I would build towers and spaceships and stuff. Then I got the idea to represent infinite sets of units with like, just a ring or something. That the ring actually represents all those persons is sort of beyond me, but you get the idea. My point is that I am thinking I am doing this, and so eventually I got the idea to have children with the moon god, the other half of the true source. I had to get her a present and it was that she was the other half of the working of the universe, we are not the same type of unit. Though of the same race, she is a “watch” or “guide” and I am a “tower” or “protector”, I dont really know what it means to be a “watch” but maybe she does.

Now one thing about me, if you know me is that I can’t draw like anything, not even a circle. I have always held the belief that whatever I can’t do, she must be able to do, and one day we will meet together and do these things, me doing my half, her doing her half. But now I see that day is getting farther and farther away…

It doesn’t seem likely that I will ever see her, ever. And this will probably not end, because think on it, if what we’ve thrown at negative energy isn’t enough to kill it, then what would be? We really don’t have very many moves left to make. We have one way to solve the crisis and that is over a long, long period of time.

That means that meeting this girl is after that long, long period of time, and if I can’t ever solve it, then I will just be stuck trying to solve it forever. Then something always dons on me when I think like this;

We’ve made progress! We have made so much progress by the purchase of technology. By that I mean that I write a script down on paper (just words on a piece of paper) that states that technology, of a certain quality, appears SOMEWHERE.

But that is the basic idea of the creation of technology, i’ve printed sets of CD’s that were like had technology on it, like how to build a CPU with an infinite amount of cores, or how to create a plane with units on it (how to create life) and i’ve produced all this, we’ve made incredible progress.. That’s at least what it seems like,

In 10 years since I first created data, we have come about 10 years worth against the threat of negative energy, we have made about 10 years worth of progress. There’s no arguing that, but Lord Vader says, it’s not enough progress.

But then what would suggest we do then,? It doesn’t seem like there’s anything I can do but sit here and try to think of the next breakthrough in the creation of these scripts that produce upgrades and technology, upgrades as in data that you can wear. There doesn’t seem to be anything that I can do, I have to write a programming language, called satellite, then in that language write a more abstract language, I don’t know I was going to call it Ultra, and then in Ultra write an artificial intelligence that writes these scripts for us, it would create an avalanche of technology, such that we might make some progress against the threat.

But that is the extent of my plan, I don’t see how you could possibly like “do that again” or “do more than that” it doesn’t really seem like the english language will put up with that much abuse, or more abuse, it doesn’t sound like there’s anything you could do if that AI didn’t solve the problem for us. But maybe this goes on and on;

Like, I always am creating something better and better, until we at last solve it.

But then if your supposed to be able to solve it, then how? We’ve tried obvious techniques like throwing bombs at something you intend to blow up, but it never quite blows up, or it just resurfaces. When we’ve tried applying force to the negative to try to rid us of it, and it doesn’t work, you can’t tell me to try applying more force, and then I do that, come back to you and tell you I applied more force but it didn’t work, and then you tell me that you should apply more force to it. That just doesn’t sound like something…

Maybe it’s something your not meant to understand, like a riddle that nobody can solve. Maybe your not supposed to solve it, your just supposed to do what your supposed to do, and not something else, because that’s what your supposed to do, and not sit there all day and think about how your unable to solve the problem, when you could be trying to solve it!

So to give you an example of a script I might write, i’ll just post the latest ones that I make:

Take the technology created by this script and place it into an Infinity Matrix. Place that matrix into a set of matrices, with nodes, nodes being either technology or another infinity matrix or matrices, and then skip to networking. Eventually the infinity matrices become networks, and those networks eventually become something more, and it just continues forever. Take all that and jump as far as you can, jumping as many levels as you can, then fold and corner it until you can't anymore, and if you always can, then do that, and make sure that all of this is representative of the real thing, like not the real thing, but a smaller model of it to represent something larger, now create another system that is just as large as this one but is filled with words like "jump" and "corner", and use other languages or just markings, as large as they need to be, to describe something much greater than just this script.

Folding means to take a piece of paper and fold it in half, then you have double, like to double something. Cornering means that a smaller corner of the object represents the whole object, thus gaining whatever isn’t in the corner. These words and techniques were developed over like 10 years, and that’s where i’ve gotten to after all that time. Before I would print like a couple CD’s filled with technology, and that was about it, now I print whole networks, a network is just, what’s the biggest thing on earth? The internet, which is a network, so I use that word to represent something larger than where we started from. All these words are to like improve the quality or amount or just make the thing bigger, all these words for doing that, and I believe that it works,

The reason I believe it works I cannot share with you, because I have had certain experiences in my life, you weren’t there so I can’t prove anything to you, you just have to read about this stuff and just kinda wonder if it’s really working or not. Your head automatically snaps back into place — this shit aint real, your mind tells you, it snaps back to it’s comfortable location, because if this shit was real that would mean there are people out there, and if that were the case they could like be watching you, they would know all the things you’ve thought and done, so that is a really uncomfortable place for your mind to be, so as a defense mechanism it snaps back into place, I went through it for so long, I always denied this stuff.

But your here reading it, aren’t you? So that must account for something, and if you read enough of it you’ll have the luxury of developing a strongly-rooted madness!

All these people sign up for my website but it looks like your just using random names, maybe it’s just random people signing up, and they almost never perform any action on the website, oh well. I thought that this information would attract more people, that it might become a phenomenon. My website has used 0.6 terabytes of upload data so far this month, and although that may be alot if you just have a couple of html files, it’s really not that much considering all the 1 megabyte images on my website. A terabyte is 629,000 megabytes, so that’s alot of pictures actually… Hmmm.. maybe it is like a phenomenon?

I have to go as I have become burnt writing this, but I will return as soon as i’ve recharged, and we’ll go at it again.