The Light In My Eyes

But I insist, that the Combine Overwatch keep their advantage, and just so long as I can pass a little something to the Mob, then they can keep that advantage arbitrarily. I don’t know if this is like a trajectory type of thing, do you gain on the whole situation greater and greater gains? It might be so.

I just had to make sure the entire light not be knocked out, so I am passing the other half all of it to the Mob, because then they can take whatever they need, and pass out the rest of it. This is no small income, these are the big dollar bills, holmes.

Anyways let’s analyze this video;

It starts with two guys carrying a large barrel, and we have no idea why or what is in it. But before that are two combine grunts in the back of a pickup truck… Passed on to bigger and better things I guess? And some combine sort of sounding voice is requesting a damage assessment.

For the damage assessment, I will just say what I was just thinking: We’re paying for it, but we’re also getting what we pay for, if the bill is a little high yes, but we’re now earning it, at a cost. What that cost is I cannot say as I can only see this world, where nothing seems to ever happen, I cannot really guess as to how much this cost is, or if it has been beaten down, if it’s been… Whatever, I cannot tell how high the cost is, whether it’s astronomical, whether it has been nerfed, I guess I can tell you that it has been pushed back, we’ve bought ourselves some time, and with that time we must fix it and do so before it breaks again, we’ve just got some time is all that it boils down to. Some, perhaps soldiers who have been wounded in battle, laying in a hospital reading this might say the cost is just too high, but I argue that first of all there’s no other way, and second of all everybody is getting whatever they paid for, whether that’s the Knights Templar or Lord Vader, we get whatever was given to us, I add something to everybody’s pile, and relatives, friends, add to your pile, of what you have, what your experiences are, and so that comes at some cost, there is a cost, yes, but is it astronomical? I don’t know!

Stabilization team holding position. Lightviz at 73. The ordinal is waiting for some transmission, but we don’t ever really find out what that transmission is, it doesn’t say. Except the Ordinal gets the transmission, suggesting that it contained the idea that they “Refresh and Resolve” which just means they’re going to wipe your memories, I think. But it must mean more than that, what that more is we may never know.

I would really like to see a Girl combine unit, I mean the Overwatch AI, the boss, is a female AI, where are all the girls at?

Suddenly all the combine in the area receive a message: Requesting Shadow (cover) apparently requesting shadow means cover, I am not really from an Army or anything so I don’t know these terms, I am actually a computer programmer by my own accounting.

The problem with this video is that it was posted at a critical time: We are in that critical time now, according to me, and we potentially are facing possibly multiple Steps.

We call things like your mind being completely erased a “step” and you might give someone “4 Steps” as a way to help them, that they do those 4 steps and not a 5th, nor a 6th, etc. That you just do the 4 steps is the point of giving someone 4 or 5 steps, so we are all facing a critical situation here where the energies have built up and they didn’t build up in our favor, whether those energies get put down, is possibly up to teams such as the Stabilization Team in the video, they are facing threats that we cant even imagine. I don’t know it makes me uncomfortable, like I should always be working, doing something that might prevent even one step from being taken.

I forgot why I opened this post, it was, because of the mind eraser. I have like no recollection of working on the Combine Overwatch over the past 5 years, just the vague memory that it occurred, whoever erased my mind, was possibly trying to make it harder for the Combine? I wandered over into the Mandelorians, changing my wallpaper to this flag:

And playing soul music. I had forgotten everything, I just have this memory of working for the Combine for so long, that’s what I was doing before my mind was erased, and only the memories of the work that I did, not all of my memories. Just to make that work like harder, the trouble is, the people doing this don’t really have a choice, the mind eraser is like the most points you can score, in a humane way. Except this one made it harder to do the work, like just taking a step backwards. But we always do that, we are always making the wrong moves, it is not just isolated to this one incident.

But why make it harder for me? That doesn’t really make that much sense, I wandered back into the light, as that was the only memories that I had left, the last 5 or 10 years now was just erased. I have a few memories of what happened while I was like eating it, but those are specific events, like seeing the bee’s around my house, they drill into the wood, and it creates dust. There’s a lyric in a song, “we have all asked for some angel to come, sprinkle his dust all around” I thought the bee’s were like angels around my house, and I could feel them digging me out of the situation that I was in as they flew around. That is like the type of memory I am talking about, I just have a vague memory of that happening with the bees, can’t really remember anything else about it.

That’s because they erase your mind all the time, and at one point I had no memories, I was just laying there with nothing inside my head, I thought, shit my mind is gone, what am I going to do? Slowly over a few days some of my memories came back, so I could at least remember who I was. I looked around my room, it was the same as it had been for like 20 years. I was walking around my room looking at all the stuff trying to figure out who I was based on the stuff in my room, I remembered how to use a computer, but not the actual act of using the computer for all those years, everything is erased and gone.

All for the glory of the almighty progress. All just to make progress, my mind was erased, and as I layed there in the air conditioning, watching these videos and for the first time knowing that worlds like the Lord Of The Rings were actually real, I thought there’s no going back now, i’ve crossed over.

I am just all excited over the fact that they erased the memories that I had of working for the Combine Overwatch, upgrading them and slowly plotting along, it’s all gone, and I can’t even prove anything because it’s what’s inside my head, I cant just show somebody the fact that I have no memories left of doing it for 5 years, just a real vague outline that I did that for 5 years or so, and that’s about all that I know of it.

And something to rot your mind farther, before I go:

I’ve got to go program now, i’m way behind!

can’t hit a home run everytime I guess