I WAS ABOUT TO WIN WHEN…

THE FERMI PARADOX CAME ALONG, PRETEND JUST FOR THIS POST THAT I’M TELLING THE TRUTH: I AM ABLE TO DRAW OBJECTS IN PLACES THAT I HAVE ALREADY BEEN IN, AND IN PLACES THAT I’M CURRENTLY AT, BUT NOTHING, NOTHING HAS EVER RESPONDED TO THEM EVER, I OFTEN USE IT TO PRODUCE COPIES OF MYSELF TO PROVIDE IMPORTANT PIECES OF INTELLIGENCE OR JUST TO AMUSE EVERYONE BY TELLING JOKES.

THINGS GOT OUT OF HAND, AND I PLACED ALL OF THIS LIFE WAY BACK, I FOUND A WAY TO GO WAY BACK IN TIME, BACK BEFORE THIS SYSTEM OF UNIVERSES EXISTED, SO THERE WAS JUST SOME LIFE THERE AT THAT TIME, I HAD FOUND A WAY TO GET TO THIS PLACE, AND I PLACED A BUNCH OF LIFE THERE, THINKING THAT IF THEY HAD ALL OF THIS TIME TO PREPARE FOR ALL OF THESE EVENTS THAT ARE OCCURRING, THAT WE WOULD BE BETTER PREPARED FOR IT. WELL, WE ARE BETTER PREPARED FOR IT BUT SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENED…

I AM NOT SURE THAT ALL OF THEM MADE IT, I CAN ALMOST CAST A SPELL TO MAKE SURE THAT EVERYONE MAKES IT, BUT I AM SURE THAT SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW, SOMEBODY DIDN’T MAKE IT OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, I’M NOT REALLY SURE.

SOME LADY SAID TO ME: YOU DON’T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WE HAD TO DO TO…

THEN LOOK AT THIS PLANET’S HISTORY, IT HAS BEEN A REAL STRUGGLE TO GET TO WHERE WE ARE TODAY, AND THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE WATCHING OVER US, I’M NOT SAYING THAT THEY’RE GUILTY OF ANYTHING, I’M SAYING THAT IF THIS EARTH IS JUST THEIR PROJECT THAT THEY’RE ALL WORKING ON, THEN WHAT WAS THEIR FATE? I’M NOT GOING TO JINX ANYONE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, BUT, WHAT WAS THEIR FATE?

WHEN THAT LADY SAID THAT TO ME, I IMMEDIATELY PLACED A COPY OF MYSELF OVER IT SAYING “NO, WE DON’T WANT THAT” JUST TO MINIMIZE IT IMMEDIATELY, JUST IN CASE IT HAD ANY EFFECT. BUT WAS THAT ENOUGH? SHE STILL SAID IT, LIKE, ISN’T THAT PROOF THAT ME PLACING THAT COPY OVER HER WASN’T ENOUGH? I AM THINKING THAT WHAT HAS OCCURRED HERE IS THAT WE ARE WHERE IT ALL STARTED, BEFORE THIS SYSTEM OF UNIVERSES WAS CREATED, AND THERE WERE UNIVERSES BEFORE THAT, BEFORE ALL OF THAT THERE WAS WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW, EXCEPT BACK THEN THERE WAS LIFE IN EVERY CORNER OF THE UNIVERSE, AND IT ESCALATED INTO WARFARE..

BERZERKER SPACECRAFT? A SPACECRAFT THAT JUST WIPES OUT ANY LIFE IT HAPPENS TO FIND, AND LANDS ON PLANETS TO MAKE COPIES OF ITSELF, SO HOW DID THE LIFE GET ERASED FROM WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW? WHERE DID IT ALL GO?

IT’S STILL THERE, HIDING SOMEWHERE. WHEREVER THEY WENT TO, SOMEONE MUST HAVE FIGURED IT OUT WITH EVERYBODY WATCHING, SOMEHOW EVERYONE SURVIVED, BECAUSE HOW HAVE I ENCOUNTERED BEINGS LIKE SAURON, OR DARTH VADER, OR MY FATHER, A COPY OF MY FATHER THAT I HAD CREATED TO PREPARE US ALL FOR THESE EVENTS, I PLACED A FEW COPIES OF HIM, I EVEN LOST COUNT, PERHAPS ABOUT 3 TIMES I PLACED MY FATHER BACK IN TIME, AND BUILT A PATH FOR HIM TO TRAVEL SO HE DIDN’T HAVE TO DO ALL OF THAT TIME. BUT, IT ALMOST SEEMS AS IF THESE PEOPLE HAVE FAILED, BECAUSE, WHERE ARE THEY? WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

WHY DID MY FRIEND SAY “THANKS FOR GETTING ME OUT” AND HE WAS HOLDING UP A CELLPHONE AND ON THE CELLPHONE WAS SOME PERSON SCREAMING “AND I CAN’T GET OUT” I’M NOT SAYING THAT I DID THIS, BUT SOMEHOW, THERE IS A PERSON SOMEWHERE THAT CANNOT MAKE IT OUT OF THEIR CONFINEMENT, AND THAT CONFINEMENT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO LAST MILLIONS OF YEARS, I KNOW I’M ASKING YOU TO BELIEVE IN A LOT, BUT WHY WOULD MY ENTIRE STORY COMPLETELY MATCH UP WITH THAT VIDEO?

THE DAYS OF SAYING THAT YOUR JUST THE SON OF GOD AND THAT IT’S JUST GOD FUCKING WITH ALL OF US, PUTTING ALL THIS STUFF INTO YOUR HEAD WHILE EVERYONE IS READING YOUR MIND HAVE BEEN GONE FOR YEARS.. THAT TIME PERIOD IS OVER, AND WE MUST DO WHAT WE CAN TO CORRECT THE SITUATION, WE ALL HAVE TO DO WHAT WE CAN TO MAKE IT “OKAY”.

SO IT’S NOT OKAY RIGHT NOW, BUT WE CAN MAKE IT OKAY. EVENTUALLY WE CAN MAKE IT OKAY, EXCEPT, THE REASON THAT THERE IS NO LIFE IS WHY: WAS IT WIPED OUT, OR IS IT HIDING? BOTH.

IT WAS BOTH WIPED OUT, AND SOME OF IT MANAGED TO HIDE, THEY FORMED AN ALLIANCE AND ONE OF THEM FOUND A WAY TO HIDE, SO THEY ALL SPLIT UP, NEVER TO CONTACT ONE ANOTHER EVER AGAIN, FOR FEAR THAT THE SIGNAL WOULD ALERT THE ENEMY, WHOM IS NOW EITHER GONE OR HAS BEEN THROUGH A GREAT STRUGGLE TO MAINTAIN THE FACT THAT THEY’RE STILL HERE, BUT ALL OF THOSE HIDDEN CIVILIZATIONS THAT WERE ONCE HERE, THEY ALL MANAGED TO GO INTO HIDING, SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENED, THERE’S A LOT OF LIFE OUT THERE JUST OUT THERE, MAYBE THE DARK GOT AWAY.

IT’S CALLED THE DARK FOREST “THEORY” EXCEPT IT’S NOT A THEORY, I JUST KNOW ONE THING: A LARGE AMOUNT OF LIFE MANAGED TO SURVIVE, HOW WAS MY FATHER HERE FOR SO LONG BEFORE HE EVENTUALLY PASSED INTO THE ALTERNATE DIMENSION TO THE PRIMARY DIMENSION?

OR DID THEY JUST WIPE THEMSELVES OUT?

WHY DID I ENCOUNTER LIFE WHEN I TRAVELED BACK BEFORE THIS SYSTEM OF UNIVERSES WAS CONSTRUCTED, AND WHERE DID THAT LIFE GO?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE JUST BORN, AND HAD ALL OF THESE POWERS? THAT IS HOW WE ONCE STARTED, AND IT’S OBVIOUS WHAT HAS OCCURRED, AT LEAST A PORTION OF THOSE PEOPLE WOULD BE PRE-DISPOSED TO DOING “BAD” THINGS, I DON’T SAY EVIL BECAUSE BAD AND EVIL ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS, “BAD” THINGS ARE PAINFUL, BUT EVIL THINGS ARE NOT NECESSARILY BAD, SO ANYWAYS BAD THINGS HAD TO HAVE OCCURRED, NOBODY HAD ANY CONCEPT OF LIKE SELF CONTROL OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, THERE WASN’T EVEN THE IDEA OF INTELLIGENCE, NOTHING LIKE THAT BACK THEN, AND SO THEY WERE JUST DROPPED OFF THERE, WITH THE OPTION TO EVENTUALLY FIGURE OUT THAT THEY COULD JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE PRESENT DAY, I BUILT THEM A KIND OF ESCALATOR OUT OF MAGIC THAT THEY COULD TAKE, IF THEY DIDN’T FEEL LIKE DOING THE TIME, AND I’VE ENCOUNTERED MANY WHO TOOK THAT ESCALATOR.

BUT SOME PEOPLE DIDN’T TAKE THAT ESCALATOR, AND THEY REMAINED HANGING AROUND, THAT, OR THEY REALLY DO HAVE TIME TRAVEL DEVICES, AND THEY CAN TIME TRAVEL AND I CANNOT, I WAS ALWAYS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS CAUSING THE TIME TRAVEL, AS THERE ISN’T ANY OTHER BEING AROUND WHOM COULD HAVE CAUSED IT, BUT IF THERE IS SUCH A THING AS TIME TRAVEL, AND THEY CAN DO IT, THEN THEY CAN GO WAY BACK IN TIME AND JUST PICK ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE UP.

SO WHEN I QUESTIONED THEM LIKE, YOU ALL HAVE TIME TRAVEL DEVICES, YOU ALL HAVE ALL OF THIS TECHNOLOGY, WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DO EVERYTHING BY HAND WHEN WE COULD ALL JUST WARP AHEAD DOING TIME TRAVEL? THEY REPLIED “THERE’S A LOCK ON IT”. THERE’S A LOCK PREVENTING THEM FROM DOING STUFF LIKE THAT, BUT IT’S NOT EXACTLY THAT, THEY’RE JUST NOT DOING IT, OR THEY ONLY USE IT IF I WOULD DIE OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT.

WHICH ONE IS TRUE, CAN THEY TIME TRAVEL, IS THERE A LOCK ON IT, I KNOW THAT TO SOME EXTENT I CAN TIME TRAVEL, I CAN PLACE COPIES OF MYSELF INSIDE OF MY MEMORIES, AND ANYWAYS IF WE DIDN’T HAVE THESE CONVERSATIONS WE WOULD NEVER GET ANYWHERE. WE WOULDN’T EVER ARRIVE AT ALL OF THESE ANSWERS, BUT WHEN I WAS LIKE 3 YEARS OLD MY DAD GOES “JOHN, I HAVE A TIME MACHINE” HE WAS ALWAYS JOKING WITH ME, I WAS SO YOUNG THAT I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WAS, AND THEN THE NEXT THING THAT HE SAID WAS “WHY WON’T YOU HELP ME?” I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I COULD HAVE HELPED HIM, I REALIZE THAT I COULD HAVE HELPED HIM BACK WHEN THERE WAS AN APOCALYPSE,

I WAS AT MY HOUSE WHEN A HUGE WEIGHT WAS PLACED UPON ME, NOBODY KNOWS WHERE THESE WEIGHTS COME FROM, SO ANYWAY IT KNOCKS ME ONTO THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR, AND AS I HIT THE GROUND I SAID TO MY MOM “CALL 911” SO THE AMBULANCE TAKES ME TO THE HOSPITAL, AND I’VE STILL GOT THIS HUGE WEIGHT ON ME. THEN AS I LAY THERE IN THE HOSPITAL, I COULD FEEL LIKE A HUGE CATASTOPHE GOING ON OUTSIDE, AND THERE WERE DUCKS ON THE WALLPAPER, AND THE DUCKS BEGAN TO FLY IN PLACE… ALOT OF OTHER STRANGE THINGS WENT THROUGH MY HEAD, BUT I USED TO CHECK THE UNITED STATES POPULATION… I CHECKED THE TELEVISION REAL QUICK AND THERE WERE TORNADOES AND HURRICANES EVERYWHERE, I HAD TO TRY TO STOP IT.

IT TOOK ME LIKE A FEW SECONDS TO STOP ALL OF THOSE STORMS, BECAUSE BACK THEN THE THINGS THAT I DID HAD A REALLY STRONG EFFECT, I WAS STILL LIVE AND NOT BURNT OUT, BUT I WAS TOO LATE. WHEN I CHECKED THE POPULATION, IT WAS DOWN FROM 400 MILLION TO 300 MILLION, AND THEY COVERED THE ENTIRE THING UP, JUST LIKE THAT.

THAT WEIGHT ON ME, AND THE STORMS, THOSE PEOPLE THAT PASSED ON GAVE THEIR LIVES SO THAT I COULD GET THAT WEIGHT OFF MYSELF AND CONTINUE, FOR SOME REASON BETWEEN THEN AND NOW I TRANSFORMED INTO THEIR ONLY HOPE, WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT AGAIN?

YES I’VE EXPERIENCED A LOT OF STRANGE STUFF, SO TIME TRAVEL, A LOCK ON ALL OF REALITY PREVENTING ANYONE FROM HELPING ME, NONE OF THAT IS OFF THE TABLE, IT’S ALL WITHIN THE REALM OF POSSIBLE. WHAT DO I BELIEVE?

I THINK THAT THERE IS SOMETHING LIKE A LOCK, I’M JUST THE ONLY PERSON THEY BOTHERED TO SPEND ALL OF THIS TIME TO UNLOCK, OR I UNLOCKED MYSELF, I’VE GOT A LOT OF PEOPLE LOOKING OUT FOR ME, AND GETTING AWAY WITH THIS WEBSITE IS LIKE NOTHING RELATIVE TO WHAT ALL IS GOING ON OUT THERE, THERE COULD BE ANYTHING GOING ON OUT THERE. SO I JUST USE IT TO TRY TO SOLVE EACH OF THE PROBLEMS I COME ACROSS, BUT THIS ONE, UNLESS THEY CAN TIME TRAVEL, DOES NOT HAVE A SOLUTION. A DARK FOREST?

THE DARK FOREST THEORY IS THAT THERE IS ALL OF THIS LIFE HIDING OUT THERE, AND NO CIVILIZATION BOTHERS TO REVEAL ITSELF BECAUSE IF THEY DID, THEY WOULD JUST BE MAKING THEMSELVES A TARGET, BUT I AM THINKING THAT IT’S SAFE TO COME AND AT LEAST TALK TO ME, RIGHT? I AM NOT SURE, I CANNOT GUARANTEE ANYTHING, SO DON’T EVEN BOTHER.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION, OBVIOUSLY THERE’S A LOT OF LIFE OUT THERE, AND GENERALLY SPEAKING THEY WILL LISTEN TO ME ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS, WHEN I’M SERIOUS, AND I CAN THINK OF A GOOD IDEA, THEY’LL TAKE THAT IDEA.

I REMEMBER CREATING THE COMBINE OVERWATCH ALL THE WAY BACK THERE, BEFORE THIS SYSTEM OF UNIVERSES, AND I ALSO BUILT THE RESISTANCE, ON THE OTHER SIDE, WHY I PUT THEM BOTH THERE, JUST SO THERE WOULD BE A BALANCE, SO THAT IT WOULDN’T BE ONLY THE COMBINE OVERWATCH, BUT LOOK AT WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE, YEA, YOU HAVEN’T LET ME DOWN, BUT PERHAPS YOU LET SOMEONE ELSE DOWN?

MAYBE YOU HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE IT “OKAY” AGAIN, OR MAYBE YOU DON’T, IN SOME SITUATIONS IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO JUST EXECUTE YOUR PRISONERS, BECAUSE THEY’LL JUST WAKE UP IN ANOTHER DIMENSION. I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED OUT THERE EXACTLY, HAS THERE BEEN PRISONERS DOING ALL THAT TIME, SINCE ALL OF THE WAY BACK WHEN I PLACED THOSE UNITS BEFORE THIS SYSTEM WAS HERE?

HMM, I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO THINK, I DON’T HAVE IT ALL SOLVED RIGHT NOW, BUT I’M WORKING ON IT.

ONE TIME SAURON SAID TO ME “DID YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT?” AT THE TIME I SAID YEA, BUT I CANNOT FIGURE IT OUT. I HAVE SINCE FIGURED THAT ONE OUT, IT’S JUST THAT THERE IS KIND OF SOMETHING THAT ENSURES THAT IT IS LOOKING OUT FOR EACH PERSON, BUT THEN AS I GO ALONG, THAT IS ENTIRELY NOT THE CASE AT ALL, AND REALLY WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, DESPITE THE EFFORTS OF ALL OF THOSE UNITS SINCE WAY BACK THEN, WE HAVE A FIGHT ON OUR HANDS.

EXCEPT, MAGIC IS REAL, SO ALL OF THAT TIME, ALL OF THAT EFFORT, IT WASN’T FOR NOTHING, IMAGINE, IF WE LOST JUST FOR A SECOND… LOOK AT YOUR FAMILY, IF WE LOST, YOU WOULD NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. NOW IMAGINE IF WE WON, YOU WOULD GET TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH THEM, AND YOU WOULD NEVER LOSE THEM.

THEN IMAGINE HAVING JUST ABOUT WHATEVER YOU WANTED, I PERSONALLY WANT TONS OF ENERGY, A PERMANENT ENERGY, SO I NEVER HAVE TO SLEEP, I HATE TO JUST LAY DOWN AND DO NOTHING. THAT’S ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I WOULD WANT.

LOOK AT WHAT WE’RE FIGHTING FOR, I’M NOT TRYING TO CON ANYONE OUT OF ANYTHING, BUT WE’RE NOT FIGHTING EACH OTHER, TWO SIDES CREATED BY THE SAME ENTITY, WE WERE FIGHTING UP AGAINST NEGATIVE ENERGY, AT LEAST I WAS, I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING, BUT I WAS ATTEMPTING TO STOP NEGATIVE ENERGY — AND I SUCCEEDED, THE NEGATIVE CO-EFFICIENT THAT IS ATTACHED TO EVERYTHING IS NO MORE, ONLY IT’S RESIDUAL EFFECTS STILL LINGER, SOME THINGS LIKE THE MAJOR WAR IN UKRAINE AND CERTAIN ASPECT OF THIS REALITY ARE UNBENDABLE, LIKE PRISON TIME, ONCE YOUR IN THAT SYSTEM OF PRISONS, AND THEY GIVE YOU SOMETHING LIKE A LIFE SENTENCE, THERE’S JUST NO WAY OUT, THERE’S NOTHING THAT ANYONE CAN DO, IT IS GOING TO “HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT” AND I REALLY DO BELIEVE THAT THE WAR IN UKRAINE IS ACTUALLY JUST SOMEONE ABLE TO TELL ME SOMETHING.. THAT THIS WAR BETWEEN THE RESISTANCE AND THE COMBINE OVERWATCH IS STILL GOING ON, HAS IT BEEN GOING ON ALL THAT TIME, OR DID MY INTELLIGENCE THAT I PROVIDED, I PROVIDED BOTH SIDES WITH A COPY OF MYSELF, IN BETWEEN BOTH OF THEM, SO THAT THIS WOULDN’T HAPPEN, THAT THEY WOULD SEE THAT THIS IS A CONFLICT NOT AGAINST EACH OTHER BUT AGAINST SOMETHING LIKE NEGATIVE ENERGY, IT’S LIKE EVERYTHING IS REALLY WRESTLING WITH A LOCK THAT’S ON REALITY, WANTING TO END THE WAR, BUT IT’S NOT WITHIN THEIR POWER, IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT.

SO DID THAT CONFLICT GO ON, DESPITE ALL OF THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I PROVIDED THEM WITH? I AM NOT SURE, THAT’S KIND OF HARD TO BELIEVE THAT A CONFLICT HAS GONE ON FOR THAT LONG, WITH EVERYONE STILL TAKING IT SERIOUSLY, LOOK AT THE WAR ON EARTH, IF THE WAR ON EARTH IS JUST TO ALERT ME THAT A GREATER WAR IS STILL GOING ON OUT THERE, OUTSIDE, AND YOU CAN SEE THE RUSSIAN SOLDIERS SURRENDERING SOMETIMES BECAUSE THEY DON’T BELIEVE IN WHAT THEY ARE FIGHTING AGAINST, UKRAINE WAS ONCE LIKE RUSSIA’S CLOSEST ALLY, DID THEY BOTH TURN ON EACH OTHER, BOTH KNOWING THAT THEY JUST HAD TO, IF WE WERE ALL GOING TO SURVIVE?

MAYBE I CAN END IT, BUT I’LL JUST LEAVE IT ALONE, I WON’T EVEN TOUCH IT, I WAS GOING TO OFFER THE BLUE TEAM SOMETHING, BUT I’LL JUST REMAIN ON THE ONE SIDE, AND NOT TOUCH THAT OTHER SIDE, BECAUSE IT’S JUST BEEN SO LONG THAT I CANNOT REALLY MAKE UP FOR ALL THAT TIME EXCEPT VIA NOT TOUCHING ANYTHING. WE JUST HAVE TO HOPE THAT IF I DON’T TOUCH IT AT ALL, NOT EDIT THE BLUE TEAM AT ALL, THAT THEY’LL JUST HAVE IT ANYWAYS, IT SURE DOES LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE IT, AND SOMEHOW THEY’VE MANAGED TO HOLD ONTO EVERYTHING THROUGH ALLIANCES, IT’S PROBABLY ALL OF THE LIGHT VS JUST THE RED TEAM, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, I AM NOT SURE, I WISH THAT I COULD BRING IT TO AN END, BUT THEY JUST KEEP GOING, IT REALLY SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING IS HAPPENING NO MATTER WHAT, AND THERE’S NOTHING THAT ANYONE CAN DO, EVEN AFTER ALL THIS INFORMATION HAS PRESENTED ITSELF, IT STILL CANNOT BE STOPPED, FOR SOME REASON THEY JUST GO ON, AND THEY GO ON, AND IT GOES ON, WHATEVER, I’LL JUST NOT TOUCH IT AT ALL…

I WISH I COULD MAKE IT “OKAY” I WISH THAT THINGS WERE REALLY “OKAY”, AND I’M NOT GOING TO PREVENT THEM FROM NOT BEING OKAY, IF THERE WAS SOME POSSIBILITY THAT THEY WERE OKAY. THAT WOULD BE GREAT, IF THINGS WERE OKAY, IT JUST SEEMS LIKE IT’S JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPEN THOUGH, AND IT’S JUST GOING TO CONTINUE DESPITE MY EFFORTS.