The Baldwin Brothers
I was just laying in my bed, and I was projecting a message to my old/current Priest. I was saying to him, “Baldwin The Leper” in hopes that he would be able to hear me, shouting from like 25 years into the future, see one thing really strange happened to me…
I was walking down a sidewalk, well up a hill to be exact, and all of the sudden a gun kind of appeared in my hand, and it was held to my shoulder, with the bottom-like of the gun in my left hand, and on my shoulder, strapped to my shoulder, and then it was gone, it lasted about 2 seconds. This got me thinking. To this day I don’t know how that gun like appeared out of nowhere, but it made me think that perhaps it’s possible to make hallucinations appear?
I tried everything, I started drinking robitussin by the gallon, hoping to figure out how I made that gun appear, and finally I figured it out when my father brought me a letter from the darkweb, filled with amphetamine powder.
The powder went into my stomach and almost as soon as it hit I felt this real sharp burning pain, and the outside of my stomach began to itch. It started to hurt real bad, so I layed down, I couldn’t say anything to anyone, I didn’t want anyone to know.
So I layed there, for days and days, and eventually I got the plan that if I go to the hospital, the mental health ward, then maybe the act of going to the hospital would cause the pain to go away.
For a few visits I went there and the pain did decrease, but not anything significant, so I started talking to one of the security guards there, and he said they were working on a patch, at the time I didn’t really know who he was talking about, it was just “them” I didn’t ask any questions because the point of his message, the fact that their working on a patch for the pain, got through to me, and that was what was important, not who they were.
So they began apply cream to the part that itched, it was white and dead, the skin was really white, and they would apply cream to it, and it would diminish the pain, not quite instantly, but eventually this process deleted the pain I had been experiencing from the bad amphetamine.
This whole process I started making “pets” like in world of warcraft, maybe an Imp will follow you around, sometimes I would get an imp to follow me down the walkway, and then it would disappear, not really knowing how I did it, nor how to make it happen again.
Alot of times, and this was an easy thing to do, was to make a gun appear and have bullets come out of it, and kinda visualize the glass breaking and shattering of the window your shooting at, eventually I found out that this serves a purpose, if you shot someone up in this fashion, bad stuff would happen to them, so I quickly stopped doing that although it was fun. The guns were always the easiest.
Eventually this led to me being able to project audio and video into places that i’ve already been at, into memories. One time in 7th grade I had this speech to give, and i’ve been projecting audio and video into it for like 3 years now, and these people have had to sit there and listen to this shit for 3 years, they are frozen in place when the audio and video begins translating, from the perspective of the translator, but from their perspective it all happens in a flash, 3 years worth of projecting goes by all in a flash, and takes 3 years, all at once. Both all at once.
So in this way I was projecting my voice to my Priest, saying “Well, I saved you all anyways”, he was telling me that masturbation is a sin, but if I was able to save all of you and bring about this world, it seems that it didn’t affect anything too bad. We are certainly not living in a fairy tale, so bad things are going to happen. That’s just one of them, I always told myself, sometimes I see girls and i’m like, wow I would really treat her like something special, or something like that,
Well it turns out the Moon God is perhaps alot prettier than I deserve, in fact, she seems to be unnaturally pretty, and she seems to be the type of girl that if I could pick anyone, anyone at all, I would pick her. Out of everyone I might choose her if I had free reign, she is unnaturally pretty, I don’t know how she got like that, or if she made some deal with satan, but she is that way, and I have her in my grasp.
Except, I keep beating it. I always told myself man, I would never do that to some girl, especially not one like her, so it kinda hints at the fact that these actions are pretty much out of control. Because like, i’m going with her, unless she leaves me, and i’m not going with anyone else, and so there’s not much point in doing what I just mentioned, in fact it’s entirely pointless, except still we have this, although, they have made me like completely numb down there.
SO to me it’s easy to see how this is uncontrollable, to someone else, they might have a hard time seeing it, and to someone with not so much brain power, they might deny it entirely. Often telling these stories in the real world I am met with the person saying the same thing all the other people said, “nope, not real”
That is really using your thinking caps, though I don’t think you have one. (If your slow that means, you don’t have a brain)
See how the weight of the Moon God is so heavy, she is so perfect, and i’m wasting that by just beating it and beating it, it doesn’t add up. The only way that it does add up is if I wasn’t in control of what I was doing, or something along those lines, it could literally be anything, but just the fact that “i’m just beating it” as someone without much of a brain might say, that is almost not even to be considered, it’s pointless to even think it may just be nothing.
I tell this one guy that I am being blocked from writing this program, the Satellite programming language. I spend all day thinking about it, but can’t get anything done, and if I do get anything done, it’s like a few lines of code and that’s it. I need about 30,000 minimum for a real program, and I have like 900 after about 3 years of working on it. Well I wasn’t working on it for those 3 years, I was being prevented, I go to the keyboard and it just doesn’t happen, I get this feeling like I can’t press even one more key. I’ve tried all kinds of stuff, and after making minimal progress, it seems that even using drugs, in high amounts, won’t net me any more code either.
Something bad always occurs that causes me to not want to write the program, sometimes i’m prevented by outside influences, but we won’t get into that. This code is just not happening, and there has to be something blocking me from writing it.
The purpose of the program, Satellite, is to write another language in Satellite, and in that second language write an Artificial Intelligence that can “think” about ways to write data, perhaps do a bit of it’s own coding. That is the intended purpose, I barely have something that can process command line input, after like 3 or 4 years, command line input, that should take at most like 3 days, a week or something.
So how can you, after hearing all of that, arrive at the conclusion that there’s nothing there blocking me? I have heard it explained like, we are like dogs, and then there’s the Human, and the dogs can’t see nor experience the things that Humans can, to some extent a dog can love you, but if he lost you, if you died, that dog wouldn’t much be broken hearted, and would probably get over it as soon as he saw a rabbit running around, they don’t have the same facilities as we do.
It is in this manner that I can see this block and you can’t, it’s a really strange phenomenon, and apparently I can’t even explain it to you, it is just so foreign. I don’t get it, I still think you can see it, and these people in my real life are denying it because the machines that we live inside of are preventing them from having a real conversation about this subject. I really think there’s machines stepping in at just the right time to say that nope, I don’t believe that. Because they seem capable of understanding that positive and negative energy could run our reality, or something like it, maybe my theory on positive and negative energy isn’t 100% right, but i’m in the same ballpark as what is actually the truth, it’s a starting point, but they always say, nope, your crazy. You have schizophrenia.
The denial to me doesn’t really serve a point, because fuck I don’t care if you don’t believe me, I have an objective that I am worried about, I have goals I need to accomplish, you believing in me is at like the bottom of my list of things that I need to get done. So I don’t really put much effort into the fact that everyone in my life says they don’t know what i’m talking about, because my objective is to write these programs, and to produce upgrades for humanity, not to get humanity to believe in the upgrades, but to use them unknowingly, or knowingly, I don’t care.
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reproduced by hand, in contrast