Redemption

Given that the word is not used lightly, and given who it came from… I had to make another post. I was just wondering what to do now that I am under these conditions — like, if I do anything, it seems like I have to pay for it, something bad happens, I get a headache and get real dizzy was todays effect.
Jigsaw, I was just watching you and he said things I know were meant for me — “I know what you did” to “this is redemption” I just know he was, specifically, when tilting the mirror, talking to me.
That is kinda spooky to have jigsaw watching you, better play your cards right. That amounts to scoring really high right? What if that game had been played and played, played and played? I don’t know, what if there is, at this point, nothing that we can really do but to wait it out?
So what exactly was I even, remotely, supposed to write in this post? We have setup the “sigint” or “signals intelligence” to score extremely high, I do not think it can be topped, but i suppose you can always top it, that is.
Not to say that i’m like, innocent or anything, but just how guilty can we be here? It would seem that I am guilty of like everything, but that doesn’t matter because it just pushes us forward, ever forward, never reaching the destined target. Always forward.
We traveled always forward, regardless of whether i’m guilty, when you really, truly start to think of people like John Kramer as not guilty then you know you’ve got somewhere. That is a really hard line to take.
I was just watching… Helm’s Deep, on youtube. It made me think, if this were helm’s deep, I wouldn’t be laying down right now. I just want to lay down it’s been a long day, I had the start of another step to do today. A step is a long, painful period where you are generally under the control of your own schizophrenia.. Imagine that, not your mind in control, but the disease is in control, it’s very painful and it’s only happened about 3 or so times. I had it starting back up again today, then it just went away. That was really hard to deal with. Because the start of another step is like a ticket to the holocaust.
Now I just want to lay down, and I do think I have earned it, although I could stay awake and earn alot more points, I can just earn them tomorrow, when I am refreshed..